But the LORD said unto Samuel,
Look not on his countenance, or on
the height of his stature; because
I have refused him: for the Lord
seeth not as man seeth; for man
looketh on the outward appearance,
but the LORD looketh on the heart.
This has been an interesting verse for me to ponder. There are several aspects related to this that I could cover. The one I have most closely related to this in the past is "don't judge a book by its cover," or the implication is: don't judge a person by what they look like. Books could be written on this topic.
Interestingly enough, when I was looking for a related talk with this verse, I chose the one I did because it was referenced in relation to hypocrisy and deception. When our outer self is not in harmony with our inner self, we are being deceptive. We may manage to fool those around us, but the Lord knows what is inside our hearts. There is also much that could be said on this topic.
Now, because of my current interest in Image Management, I am interested in how these principles relate to our dress, grooming, and body language, and will spend my time focusing there, rather than on judging, deception, or hypocrisy. These topics do tie in though, so keep them in the back of your mind.
Generally speaking, when we think of clothes in relation to our faith, the overwhelming majority of the advice points to "don't be immodest." And certainly that is an important admonition to follow. However, I think sometimes we loose sight of what we should be doing with dress and appearance because we feel like we have the "what not to wear" aspect already covered.
We also think of clothes in relation to our faith as something that is demonstrative of pride. In the book of Mormon, whenever the people are entering into a pride cycle, they tend to start wearing costly apparel and thinking that they are better than their more humbly dressed brethren.
On that note, Isaiah chapter 3 has a fascinating narrative for what happens to the haughty daughters of Zion who are caught up in their clothes and jewelry. I particularly remember the part that says "instead of sweet smell there shall be a stink...and instead of well set hair baldness".
In the past, these ideas altogether have given me the impression that the less we care about our dress the better. But now, I do not believe that is the case at all.
We are made in God's image. Our body is sacred. It is a temple. One of the first things our Father did for us on our mortal journey was to clothe our first parents. What we decide to put on our bodies is important spiritually, emotionally, socially, and psychologically.
We also cannot avoid getting dressed each day. Therefore, what we wear needs to not only avoid being a spiritual hindrance, but also be spiritually beneficial as well. Yes, we should wear modest clothing. But that doesn't mean any old t-shirt that covers your shoulders will do either.
Why are there flowers on temple square? Technically the building should be able to function without the large amount of effort put into landscaping right? And yet, there they are.
In dealing with our temples it is not only that they keep the grounds free of trash and debris, but they also adorn the grounds in beauty. The physical exterior is symbolic for and indicative of the spiritual interior. There is a reason we use high quality craftsmanship and beautiful landscaping here.
Our body is a temple. And the physical exterior also needs to be indicative of the beauty we find in our spiritual interior. We are instructed not only to avoid immodesty, but to be clean, and neat, and wear clothes in good taste as well.
Just as the Word of Wisdom would be incomplete if we were only told what not to ingest, our dress and appearance standards are also incomplete if we stop at the "do not be immodest" admonition.
Elder Christofferson said:
“It offends God when we come into His house, especially on His holy day, not groomed and dressed in the most careful and modest manner that our circumstances permit. . . . Some say dress and hair don’t matter—they say it’s what’s inside that counts. I believe that it is what’s inside a person that truly counts, but that’s what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a message about what is inside a person. It may be pride or rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, ‘I don’t get it. I don’t understand the difference between the sacred and the profane.’ . . . You are a Saint of the great latter-day dispensation—look the part. . . .
“Acting and dressing in a way to honor sacred events and places is about God.” (D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” New Era, June 2006, 30).
Or in other words, if our inside is clean and beautiful, we will also honor sacred places by dressing in a way that is clean and beautiful. Also notice that he uses the word "casual" as opposed to "immodest." One can be modest and still be dressed inappropriately, especially in holy places.
In Alma it says:
" ...and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely."
Comely means attractive or beautiful to look at. It did not say that they wore sackcloth and ashes.
So how do we dress in such a way that we can be beautiful but not prideful about our beauty?
My rule of thumb is that the role of clothing is to draw attention to the wearer, not to itself. Clothing is distracting and therefore inappropriate if it draws attention away from the wearer and to the clothing itself for being too slobbish, too snobbish, or generally incongruent with the wearers personality, values, and goals.
You should be able to dress in such a way that you are so comfortable and confident in what you are wearing that you can walk out of the door and then forget about it completely. In our culture that means that makeup, an attractive hairstyle, and accessories are perfectly appropriate when used to draw attention to the wearer instead of drawing attention to the makeup, hair, or accessories themselves.
It also needs to be said that while the attention needs to be drawn to the wearer, this refers to the person themselves, and not to their body. Drawing attention to the body (or parts of the body) distracts from the person's communicative ability.
Nothing disrupts spiritual progress quite like getting drawn back to the physical plane again, and again, and again because of distracting clothing, especially your own. (This includes uncomfortable clothes. Have you ever tried to sit still and pay attention with an itchy tag?)
We need to honor what is in our hearts with how our outward appearance is adorned. Then we can stand as a light of Christ by showing our fellow men what the Lord already knows is in our hearts.
My take away from all this rambling:
- No, we should not judge one another based on our appearance.
- However, we do need to make an effort (for ourselves) to dress with image integrity, or look like who we say we are.
- Only being modest is not enough. We also need to also dress nicely and beautifully and in such a way that our mind and our spirit are free to think and feel things beyond they physical.
- It's okay to wear beautiful things, and to enjoy makeup and jewelry! Just make sure you are wearing them, not the other way around.
- One of the best ways to show others what is in our heart is by dressing our outward self in harmony with those values.
“It offends God when we come into His house, especially on His holy day, not groomed and dressed in the most careful and modest manner that our circumstances permit. . . . Some say dress and hair don’t matter—they say it’s what’s inside that counts. I believe that it is what’s inside a person that truly counts, but that’s what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a message about what is inside a person. It may be pride or rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, ‘I don’t get it. I don’t understand the difference between the sacred and the profane.’ . . . You are a Saint of the great latter-day dispensation—look the part. . . .
“Acting and dressing in a way to honor sacred events and places is about God.” (D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred,” New Era, June 2006, 30).
Or in other words, if our inside is clean and beautiful, we will also honor sacred places by dressing in a way that is clean and beautiful. Also notice that he uses the word "casual" as opposed to "immodest." One can be modest and still be dressed inappropriately, especially in holy places.
In Alma it says:
" ...and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely."
Comely means attractive or beautiful to look at. It did not say that they wore sackcloth and ashes.
So how do we dress in such a way that we can be beautiful but not prideful about our beauty?
My rule of thumb is that the role of clothing is to draw attention to the wearer, not to itself. Clothing is distracting and therefore inappropriate if it draws attention away from the wearer and to the clothing itself for being too slobbish, too snobbish, or generally incongruent with the wearers personality, values, and goals.
You should be able to dress in such a way that you are so comfortable and confident in what you are wearing that you can walk out of the door and then forget about it completely. In our culture that means that makeup, an attractive hairstyle, and accessories are perfectly appropriate when used to draw attention to the wearer instead of drawing attention to the makeup, hair, or accessories themselves.
It also needs to be said that while the attention needs to be drawn to the wearer, this refers to the person themselves, and not to their body. Drawing attention to the body (or parts of the body) distracts from the person's communicative ability.
Nothing disrupts spiritual progress quite like getting drawn back to the physical plane again, and again, and again because of distracting clothing, especially your own. (This includes uncomfortable clothes. Have you ever tried to sit still and pay attention with an itchy tag?)
We need to honor what is in our hearts with how our outward appearance is adorned. Then we can stand as a light of Christ by showing our fellow men what the Lord already knows is in our hearts.
My take away from all this rambling:
- No, we should not judge one another based on our appearance.
- However, we do need to make an effort (for ourselves) to dress with image integrity, or look like who we say we are.
- Only being modest is not enough. We also need to also dress nicely and beautifully and in such a way that our mind and our spirit are free to think and feel things beyond they physical.
- It's okay to wear beautiful things, and to enjoy makeup and jewelry! Just make sure you are wearing them, not the other way around.
- One of the best ways to show others what is in our heart is by dressing our outward self in harmony with those values.
